the hatred that kills me inside

I'm tired, I'm tired with feeling emotionally tired. You're always disappointing me. You're suppose the be the one person that would always look out for me - even if the world seemed like it was ending. You're apart of this family too- but why does it always seem like you're abandoning the people that lies as close as the blood that runs within your veins. Ever since that young age that you decided to leave me to fulfill your own desire, you've never been someone whom I look up to anymore. I envy those, I envy those who has the person that does the right job. The little, I love them very much. I love them the right way, how they should be loved and treated. I've promised that I wouldn't let them ever be raised, the way you raised me. Go, go find your own pleasure outside in that world you want to be in. If I have ever been that burdened that kept your from fulfilling your own pleasure, take my sincere apology. Just ask yourself, does the blood that runs within your veins are more important to you, or those who temporarily bring your desire and leave become more important? Never, never come back if you decide to leave. I'm not here for temporary support, nor a burden that you have to come back to.