future, future - what about it?

Its been a while since I've last posted - my last post was a completely failure as you may have read. Its a gloomy day today, and inside I'm feeling a bit uneasy for some reason. Today marks my second to last day of my holidays and that also means, fighting senior year is just around the corner again. I hate it, i hate the thought of school approaching - I'm still not quiet ready for the completion of the year that determines my whole life. Sometimes, I think that maybe ... repeating year 12 isn't that bad? It'll help my ATAR - and if you're thinking that its wasting an entire year. But then, some people take on GAP years? Instead of doing nothing, I'm just repeating my subjects for better scores? Nah jks, its just some random thought popping in my head giving me excuses to be slack off and not do anything.

I just did 2 hours worth of solid study, which is practically the best I've done all holidays combined - I don't know if its something that I should be celebrating about but, I'm going to just 'mention' it here anyway /smiles. I'm moving onto Physics next and its the worst topic out of the entire course for now - its the first topic as well and I'm feel really uneasy about it so I'm going to spend a lot more time on it. Eugh, i got tutoring shit to sort out as well. Things seem to be really down the track at the moment. I worry about whats coming more than what I should be taclkling.

Sometimes, I get really pissed off at my younger brothers because like, they're told to take afternoon naps and they're all like no no I don't want to sleep and all. And I'm sitting there like 'bitch, I'd do anything to take that nap so you better take it now before you're like me and regret everything!' LOL yeah, I don't know. Studying too much hurts my brains and makes me really hungry. And, there's no food. Like seriously? You're not going to feed me anything except instant noodles? Please.

Going to end it here, I'm going to go on a treasure hunt and hunt down some food and get back to hopefully another period of solid study. Don't hope to high though.
My posts have been really all over the place lately, there's a lot I want to say but for some reason I can't them down to proper words/ sentences. I hope I recover soon. I don't really want to be posting like this.
Have a lovely of whats left for the rest of your day.