Wow, it's been a seriously long time. It makes me happy to know that sometimes, when I just want to pour down and out all my thoughts that been eating my brain cells up - I can always come back to here; the home to my feelings, thoughts and so so much of my memories and childhood. Well, I don't think I've announced it yet since my last post was still during my high school years. I am officially an adult (what a joke) no but seriously, I've turned 18 last March got in Uni and now doing International Business and Studies. *claps. Uni life definitely is different from highschool and yes, something tells me it'll become the most important phase and period of my life. Hopefully, it's a good one.
Anyway, I came here because I'm just simply over thinking. Over thinking about a million things. Thoughts that come into my head, family, friends, life, love etc.. Isn't it funny, it seems like my thoughts want to run away from being exposed here thinking back to the reason as to why I stopped writing a while back.. they've all gone and disappeared into thin air..
Isn't it funny that the things that you really want in life, tend to be the things that run away from you or tends to be the furthest away from you in life? And, the harder you try to reach out to them, the more it seems impossible to reach? Then suddenly, the moment you feel like giving up on it, it chases right towards you and makes you feel like it's the most simplest obtainable thing to you right now? I hate that it plays with my feelings and messes up my mind. It's funny that I know, I've only just turned 18. There is still so much time, so much life for me to live and much much more experience I can gain from. Look at this 18 year old, trying to over think things. I annoys me just as much as anything else that I seem to have so much thought racing through my head. Especially at times like this, where I should be like every one else, sleeping or just doing the most randomest shit like searching net, youtube-ing. It tires me, because I know there won't be an answer to these thoughts inside me. But still, it never fails to make me anxious or make life seem any harder than it already is.
You, I don't want to try any harder than I already did for you. This marks the end of you, playing with my feelings like it's a toy. The end of me trying, trying for nothing. Because, nothing will ever work out the way I want it with you. I hope you'll do me a favour, and just quietly leave, and let me return to the life I've always lived before you came in.
