#;49 whats worth the bother

this is just a quick post it just wanted to add on since im still on the computer at this time of the day! right now i should be soundly asleep or at least in bed
but tonights an exception
im filled with tears
and i have emotions comming and going
i dont think things like this i know
but it just had to happen
something that either of us could stop or make happen
well maybe we were the cause of it happening
but i cant controll the way my life is run by

i have rules that imply upon me too
ones that i have to live by
my parents arent like yours
you'll never understand
if you want to be there
you'll just have to understand for me
and not make me feel any crappier than i can already feel

words said just cant simply be taken back
they'll stick in your head
and keep replaying
especially the ones you dont want to hear ever again
thats just the way life rolls
yeah, im no legend
i do crawl up at night and cry myself to sleep
i have feelings and emotions too
i may be the happy one you always see jumping around
but you'll just never know how much fear im dwelling inside

NO! its fucking not the problem that your feelings not the bother!
i does bother! it does matter
your in my life, you just cant not be bothered to me!
you exist! stop just trying to run away from me
face it! you've stepped into it and so have i

dont let me give you sympathy
let me give you love
maybe things arent just the same anymore
i hate it this way and i know you do too
but what have you done?
and what have i done? :'(
there really is no point towards this
nothing can be done
each time we fight, things just seem to get worse
i hate feeling this way!

goodnight/goodmorning readers
i hope you've had a much much better night then i have
by far hopefully
xx
(12.49am)