What am I doing? 

The last month has been, different. With him back in my life. Everything seems to go back into place. Like I've found, the remaining of my other half. Like having an old friend, back. But I'm guilty. And its not about whether I'm actually guilty or not, but the fact that I feel guilty.. I feel sorry towards him. Things may not be the same anymore.. or ever again.. and I dont want to ruin him, like I've ruin every one of the others.

Am I being just me again? Or is this what its meant to be. It is what its meant to be, but.. do I let myself do this again? Things like this keep happening in life, and I let myself fall for it every single time. My feelings are undeniable, but life is very realistic.

Them late night beach runs, them late night talks. The talks of honesty, sincere appreciation. I appreciate what I need to appreciate, and I need to be there and do my job properly. I need to get my shit together, and just have one focus on life. jas;dasd

Its been hard writing, but all my emotions rush to me at once and for the only time, I actually feel like I don't type fast enough.